Thought I would update you all on what has been going on in my life in the last month or so. I have been very MIA on my blog! So here is a quick snapshot of my life and my banding life over the last month or so.

* I had a fill 3 weeks ago. He put 3mls on top of the 2.5mls I already had, I was told this was a lot in one hit and I was struggling a little to keep water down. But went away and decided to give it a few days. I ended up back at the surgeons office 3 days later because it was painful to eat and I was vomiting from just having built up saliva! So he removed 0.5mls and it’s been great!

* I am still not at that perfect point of fill. I have 5mls in my band now but feel I still need more. I am eating more than I would like to be eating. It’s really not a lot compared to what I used to eat but I feel it is more than I should be eating.

* I am due for another fill next week, but we are going away at the end of the month and I am worried something will happen while we are overseas. So I am not sure what to do … going to call today and talk to them about it.

* I turned 28 years old a few weeks ago! I hate getting older, the closer to 30 I get the more I hate birthdays. But they are a part of life and there is nothing we can do about them!

* I guess the biggest news is hitting 95kg! Which makes my total weight loss 20kg. I was 115kg at my heaviest. I am super happy to be at 95kg and I am amazed at the difference in the way I feel and how my clothes fit. When we went out for dinner on my birthday I was shocked to see how much skinnier my face is! It was a nice surprise and I actually liked the photos for the first time in a very long time!

* Only 2.5 weeks until our trip. We are off to the USA and Canada for 3 weeks and I can’t wait!

I guess that is really it, thought I would have more news than that but turns out I am pretty boring!

Jen xx

P.S. One more piece of news! My Mum had her banding operation 3 weeks ago and is doing really well! That makes 3 in our family - My mum, her twin sister and myself! YAY!

Ok so part of my new lease on life means getting serious abotu diet and most of all exercise! We have 2 weeks and 4 days until our holiday and I need to lose a dress size. In order to do that I have decided to do shakes for 2 weeks and exercise my butt off! I am also going to see if I can get another fill this week.

So here’s the plan ….

* 2 weeks of shakes, twice per day

* Exercise daily - treadmil, walking, skipping etc.

* Walk with ankle weights around the house

If I can stick to these things for 2 weeks I am hoping with all my might I can lose 5kg … maybe I am dreaming but I really hope  can do it! I want to go overseas feeling great and being under 90kg!

So wish me luck and kick my arse!

Jen xx

It’s a new life for me …. and i’m feelin’ good! - Ok so I love Michael Buble, bet you didn’t know that! LOL So this is my theme song.

So I am sure from those few lyrics you can tell I have been bad … but it’s a new dawn …. it’s a new day …. and I am going to get myself on track!

I am not going to ramble on about what I have done, because there is nothing new to report. food demons and bad food habits are always there. Food and overeating is an addiction. It is something you never get over, you battle it everyday.

I used to think “addicts” of any kind - drug, cigerettes etc were weak people. I always said “well no one is holding them down and forcing them they are choosing to do this”. The more I understand my addiction the more respect and appreciation I have for other addicts. The worst thing about my addiction is it is food, one of they key pieces you need to sustain life. It is something I can’t avoid or go cold turkey. I am faced with it everyday. So I need to work on my demons everyday and battle through.

So as I said this is a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me …. and I really am feelin’ good!

Jen xx

So I have been pretty careful to not eat anything too hard and chew chew chew! But 10 minutes ago I saw a piece of turkey roast and decided to grab a piece, I don’t think I chewed good enough and I felt it get stuck. So I had a drink of water hoping to push it through, but it had the opposite effect!! I vomited the water back up!! It was so quick I didn’t even have time to run to the bathroom. I literally swallowed the water, it hit my stomach and shot straight back up again!

That was scary! Wont be doing that again in a hurry that’s for sure!

I am sitting here eating cheese, dip and wine. Why am I doing this? I have had surgery to help with my weight loss yet I am still eating crap!! Well the wine and cheese are really nice … but you know what I mean.

Hubby and I have made a pact, to start Monday. Yes, yes I know I hear myself, the classic “diet starts on Monday” speech. But really it does. Marc and I both need to get our eating in order.

The funny thing is I wonder how many partners end up needing a band after their other half has lost all there weight. Marc has a bad habit of eating his dinner and then eating what’s left of mine.

So as of Monday we are on a healthy eating and exercise binge! I want to get down to 85kg before my holiday! I know it sounds like a lot but it’s 2kg a week over the next 8 weeks. Lets see if I can do it! I would love to be even at least under 90kg before we go away in November. To be able to fit comfortably in the seat, to not have a double chin in our holiday snaps and just to feel better in my clothes!!

So I am going to sit here and enjoy my wine and dinner, I am doing to savour every mouthful because as of Monday I am knuckling down and taking advantage of this awesome tool I have!

I was actually thinking today that there must be an advantage to paying for your surgery, not having your health fund or superannuation pay but you actually physically removing your savings and paying for it. I wonder if people who do that respect it more and do better? Or maybe it is how we are programmed and it takes a lot more than a band around our stomachs to get through the psychological part of being an over eater?

So until Monday …..

We decided to go out for dinner tonight, just down to the local tavern. We used to go there quiet a lot. I love a really nice steak and prefer to eat steak at a restaurant rather than at home … always tastes nicer! So tonight I ordered what I would normally order - eye fillet (300gram), topped with garlic prawns with a side of chunky chips and salad. Normally I would get through the entire meal, I would be full but I would eat it all. Tonight I took my time eating and kind of cheated a little by drinking water with my meal. I managed to get through 1/3 of the steak, 4 garlic prawns and 2 fork fulls of salad. I didn’t touch any of the chips!

How times have changed, for the better obviously. I am so full and I only ate 1/4 of what was on my plate which meals that even though the garlic prawns weren’t that healthy my total calorie intake is much less than what it would have been if I had have eaten all of the steak and chips too.

Another thing I notice when at restaurants now is the overweight people. I really wish I could run up to them and tell them … “I can change your life!!!”. But sadly I can’t so I see them and hope one day they will discover a way to be happy and lose the weight.

Eating is definitely a who new experience and I have to learn to order half serves and also to take things home for the next day …. or even for the dog! LOL

Today was my first band adjustment! YAY!

I was so nervous all morning. For those of you who know me will remember what a big needle lover I am … hahaha yeah right! All I kept thinking about was the huge needle I was going to have stuck in my belly! Not a great start to the day.

We got into the office and there was a medical student on, so he took photos for me (which I will add to the bottom of this post).

Ok so I am going to try my very best to answer the questions I know you are asking … because they are the same I had before my adjustment. Lets get the main one out of the way first.

Did it hurt?

The short answer is a big fat NO!!! When the needle comes out it is pretty scary! To me it looked about 30cm … possibly 20cm as it is like fishing and always seems bigger than it really is. Like any needle there was a tiny little scratch, but it was less than a blood test. Actually is was sooo much less than a blood test and felt just like someone had touched you with a pin but not pieced the skin. It was that painless.

What did it feel like?

Honestly the worst part was him piercing the port. He put the needle in my skin and moved around a little to find the port and when he pierced the mesh on the port it makes a crunch feeling …. not really a sound because you can’t here it but you can feel the crunch. Does that even make sense? LOL Then he injected and pulled the needle out and it was over in about 15 seconds.

How many mls did I have?

He put 2.5mls in my band and I have to go back in 6 weeks and will probably have more put in.

What happened next?

Basically I had to drink a full glass of water to make sure it would go down. I am now on shakes again for 48 hours and mush for 48 hours then solids again. That will happen after every adjustment.

So that’s it! I now have 2.5mls in my band and I feel … the same!!! LOL I am sure I will notice a difference when I eat solids

Here is the photo … the needle is halfway in and he is injecting! Ewww

WOW been a few weeks since I have updated you. I have been busy and honestly too lazy! LOL

I am now up to week 5 this Thursday since my banding. I am doing really well. I have been eating normal food for about the past 2 weeks …. yes yes I know I should have been on mush BUT I couldn’t take it anymore. So after 2 weeks of liquids and a week of mush I ventured into normal foods.

I started with things like noodles and other soft foods. I really didn’t have a problem with normal food and adjusted really well. I have slowly been getting hungrier and hungrier and I can handle more food. Last night I had Pizza …. yes I know it is bad but I was at my Dad’s and he ordered it and it was that or starve! LOL So where normally I would eat 5-6 slices …. I ate 2 … I actually struggled to eat 2. So my appetite is reduced but it has gone from 4 fork fulls of noodles to 2 full slices of pizza. So it has increased in the past 2 weeks.

I have missed both my dietitian appointments! Slack I know! But this month like I said has been so busy. We have been to Canberra and to see my folks in NSW and now Marc is in the USA on a last minute business trip. I did however have a phone consultation and she gave me the rundown on starting solids LOL. I played dumb and listened. I was too chicken to admit I was on solids and had been for a week!

This week however is super exciting!!! I have a banding workshop and my first fill!!! YAY. I never thought I would be excited to be able to eat less, but I am!

So I will update again after the workshop, I doubt anymore will happen before then! Oh wait no … I am going to do a shirt term (4 month) goal post. I have decided to set myself a goal!

I will also weigh again on Thursday

Jen xx

I reached my first milestone yesterday without even setting it as a goal!

Since my 35th week of pregnancy (November 2008) I have not been able to wear my wedding ring, only my engagement ring. But yesterday on our 2nd wedding anniversary I put both of my rings on and guess what? THEY FIT!! They not only fit but feel so comfortable! I am so happy and never want to take them off.

So sometimes the most exciting milestones are the ones you don’t plan!

Yesterday was our 2 year wedding anniversary and even all I have been through only 5 days from surgery I was still thinking about food! My head kept telling me “Oh it’s a special occasion there must be something yummy you can eat?”. The whole day I knew we were going to see a movie and I was visualizing the candy bar in my head asking myself “What can I eat that will turn to liquid instantly?”.

I have come to realize that food for me is not just physical it is mental. I need food for comfort, for celebration and for boredom. Food consumes my life!

We went to the movies and I decided on ice cream as that can turn to liquid instantly and after a lot of thought added Maltesers to my list because they are easy to suck into nothing along with those I ordered a medium Pepsi. I got Marc to eat the top of my choc-top and I ate the ice-cream until it got to the cone and I realised I couldn’t go any further so I gave it to Marc. During the movie I sucked on 4 Maltesers and drank around 7 sips of Pepsi, not even 1/4 of the cup! After the movie ended I realised I really need to change my ways. Enjoying myself is not about food, we were there to see a movie that went for 1.5 hours … am I really that bad that I can’t go 1.5 hours without thinking of ways to slip junk food down my band?

I always thought the people who blended up Mars Bars and Cheeseburgers were crazy! But honestly I understand where there heads are. Food is emotional and mental it is not physical. I am not hungry at all so really I am only eating out of habit and cravings!

All of these things are learning curves and I am sure I will have many more in the future. I can’t expect to change a lifetime of habits in 5 days. My relationship with food needs to change and I am going to work really hard to change it.