Last night one of my best friends Nicole and I hit the casino here on the Gold Coast for a girls night out! We had a buffet dinner which was so yummy and a cocktail and a few drinks! We played on the roulette tables, yes big spenders we spent about $20 and won nothing! We then put about $10 into the poker machines and I won about $50 all up which I was happy about!

We had a great night with lots of laughs and fun. But even through all of that I still felt like the fat girl. Nicole has had gastric banding and looks fantastic after losing around 60kg! (see her site here) I am always so concious of my weight in a large group of people especially at clubs or places where guys and girls are on the lookout! I have no interest in other men, I love my husband but to have a guy come and say hi would be all the flattery I need! I would walk away happy. But no such luck. Nicole on the other hand looks so fab and gets a lot of attention.

I guess I realised what life will be like after banding. Nicole has so much confidence and reminds me of what I was like before the weight. She was talking to people while I was a bit of a wall flower.

I can’t wait to get this weight off! I am so sick of being invisible to people and also when people do see me all they see is “the fat girl”.

Last night was both a lot of fun, but also pretty depressing. I now remember why I don’t go out a lot.